Sunday, January 30, 2011

Black Hearts, Black Tears


I just returned from my Rural Homestay in Meru Kenya. I had such an amazing experience. It’s a pretty daunting thing to be thrown into someone’s family for a week. It is quite a drive to get there so we stayed in a hotel one night on the way and one night coming back. Both locations were ex-British camps where the colonizers stayed while tormenting this country. It was as if I was sleeping in a hotel on plantation land in the south. Actually, that would be much worse, but that’s what it was like. I didn’t like it at all. It was creepy.
I was very nervous about this homestay. I wanted to do and say everything right. Plus I know that not all Africans are that excited about us Black people. The media portraying us shooting each other and doing drugs creates a deep prejudice. But that was not what I saw in Meru. Once I got off the bus my host father (Henry) greeted me. Then he paraded me around like a prize cow, lol. Many of the other parents came around to gawk at me and shake my hand. One man even said “Black Americans, you are the pride of America”!
At home I had 3 sisters and two brothers, a mother with a fractured leg, 2 cows, 3 chickens and a rooster, a dog, a kitten, 2 sheep, and 3 goats. The dog and cat were not pets. The dog was for protection and was overjoyed when I petted him. The kitten was kind of a stray. It was not used to people but would run in the kitchen during meal times to beg for craps of food. Surprisingly to me my favorite animal was the female cow. I named her Cheka, which means laugh in KiSwahili. She made me laugh when I first saw how beautiful she was and I love ‘Laughing Cow’ cheese in the states. I named the ugly man cow Cheese. Cheka loved me back too. Believe it or not she could be laying down in the back of the pen but if I came over and called her she would get up and trot over to me! In fact I have a video to prove it!
We didn’t have electricity or running water. Going out to see Granny in the desert in Mobile prepared me. And I could reference Uncle Robert’s animals and the small garden Mama once had in the backyard. My younger sister Moreen was 18 years old and my main companion. She’s a bright and extremely caring individual. People say that singing helps you get through work easier. Moreen sang constantly. With our mom on crutches there was much work to be done. Floors to clean, chai to make, meals to cook, animals to feed, feed to collect, dishes to wash, clothes to wash, people to wash, food to buy and food to dig out the garden. The one thing I didn’t want to do was milk a cow. I thought I lucked out because Checka was too young to give milk. But ‘luckily’ our uncle’s farm was nearby and he had a milking cow. So one day I milked- or rather failed miserably at, milking a cow. That cow hating me, and I don’t blame her.
I ate Mangoes everyday!! The ‘worse’ mango I had in Kenya was still better than many of the mangos I’ve eaten in my life! I didn’t know bananas could grow so sweet as the ones I ate there. And I ate macadamia nuts fresh off the tree. I didn’t even know I like macadamia nuts! I ate sugar cane from the stalks and it is such an amazing sweet treat! God is so cool!
I went to the first Methodist church in my life on Sunday. The most interesting part was the auction. For tithes and offering if a member did not have money to give they brought whatever they did have. At the Alter laid a plethora of produce; bananas, mangos, chewing sticks, brooms, milk, avocados, and a chicken. And then one by one the items were auctioned off to the congregation and the money went to the church. I was awed. We got there at 10am, the auction was after a few scriptures and multiple choirs singing, and the auction ended at 1:52pm. Then there was a sermon. I could never see this happing at home! Even if they wanted to use this method they would schedule the auction either after church or the next day!
I got very attached to my family. One of my sisters had a son whom I absolutely adored! My mother was extremely loving, and my father was a strong leader and teacher. Each night after dinner he would read from my bible that had both English and Swahili text. First either mom or I would lead a praise or worship song, then Dad would read a passage in Swahili, then English. Then he would explain it in Swahili then English. My nephew was usually sleep by the second reading of the passage, and mom was usually sleep by the first explanation!  Each fellowship would end with my sister Moreen ending with prayer. This child has a God given gift. It was amazing to hear her pray. The last few nights our brother Moses had joined us for dinner and fellowship.
The last night Moreen prayed over the lives of her brothers. Once men are circumcised they no longer live in the same house as their parents and sisters. Another ‘house’ is made for them near to the main house. So somewhere between 10-15 they start sleeping and eating under a different roof than their parents. Moses chose to come eat with the rest of the family partly because of my presence. He took such good care of me while I was there. Our other brother never broke bread with us. As Moreen prayed she began to cry. She asked God to loosen the hold drugs and alcohol had on her brothers. She prayed that they would see that those things would lead them nowhere but to death. In her at that moment I saw myself and all my female cousins and the rest of the young women of color in America. It has become somewhat of a joke that me and my female cousins rarely know where our brothers are. We all hold on to hope that that next time they call home it is to say they are fine and well and not in jail or in the hospital. Zora Neal Hurston wrote in Their Eyes Were Watching God that “The black woman is the mule of the world” That praying moment bridged the gap for me. There were already things we had in common; the differences weren’t many. But the most raw touching and important similarity for me is that miserable knowledge that from Phoenix to Meru we both pray and cry for our brothers. Our Black hearts are breaking our Black eyes are flooded with tears. I hope we never stop praying- but I wish we didn’t have to cry so much.
Nitakuacha na hii (I leave you with this)
I think I got too attached to my family. They loved me as a daughter and sister and even gave me a new name: Joy Makena. Makena means ‘Jolly or Joyfull’ in their language of KiMeru. When it was time to say goodbye I cried till my chest ached. I must see them again. A piece of my heart is in Meru. There are pieces of my heart in Phoenix, St. Louis, Mobile, New York, California, Australia, Baton Rouge and Tallahassee. 
But if you leave pieces of your heart in so many places, how can it ever become whole again?

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

The Best Thing about Swahili

As we rode from the airport I noticed all the billborads that decorate the sides of the roads. I've never seen so many beautiful black faces in print up for public view. I was so proud.
Academics and non academics alike talk about how the USA is now in a post racial soicety. Whatever. I still see color. And so do most of the United States. Kenya still sees color too. As we travel to the maket to exchange money and do some shopping I as I swapped pleastantries in Swahili with a shop keeper he asked me 'Are you their guide' I chucked and my heart smiled. A bit later the same shop keep and another vendor informed me that next time I went shopping I should go alone- I would get a better price that way. It was pretty hectic mind you. 27 white Americans flood into the market and the shop keepers decended like hawks. Who could blame them? One of our students purchased a traditional African skirt for $20 US dollors that should have cost her  $5-7 US dollors!
I have been told numerous times that I look like I belong to the Luo ethnic group whom reside in the Kisumu area of Kenya. Obama is a Luo. Speaking of which- Kenyans love Obama more that Black people love Obama. And I Love it!
Last night we had a welcome party for us and some guests from US universities who wanted to check out the program. It was a great Karamu (party)! Prior to the event I went back in the kitchen to help our chef Isiah and two other women who work here (Mary and Azibetha) cook our meal. Again I was quiteted in their presence. I just wanted to please and feel what it was like to be with them. I can't lie, I see color, and there is always something uneasy for me when I see black people serving whites. Like back at Wash U. However I understand that the important this is that they have work- and I would be even more upset if Wash U for this program was emplying non-blacks/Africans to work. So I joined them. And I realized that nobody can do it better than us. It was amazing and beatiful. I was back at home in the kitchen with my mama and aunties and unlces cooking and roasting and cutting and cleaning. We are one people. We just call dishes different things. In America sliced tomatoes and unions and chorinader is just that- but in Kenya we call it Kapuli (i think). I was so grateful so have such a family moment here.
Nitakuondoka na hii (I will leave you with this)
The best thing about Swahili is that I can talk about my fellow students with the staff without them knowing it! ;-)

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Blackright

I made it Family, early- early this morning I landed at Jomo Kenyatta Airport in Nairobi, Kenya. I still feel like I'm in shock. Standing there in my "Kenyan Pride" hoodie (thank you DJ) I had mixed feelings. I don't take this trip lightly. I'm extremely blessed to be here. I desire to get everything I can from this experience because its not really about me. Its about the Kingdom of God, its about my Family, its about the Black Arts, its about Kenyans, its about our future. I'm here to learn and to teach and to grow. There's no way I'm coming back the same. I was already different before I left and God is just continuing to mold me.
There's a quietness in my spirit. I don't want to just see Kenya, I want to touch, hear, taste and feel it. I want the dirt to be second nature to me so i can compare it to my desert dirt of Phoenix. I want to speak as much (if not more) Kiswahili as English. I want to look in people's eyes and change. I want people to look in my eyes and change.

I didn't want to jump on the "Blacks returning to our African Homeland" tip but there is something sitting in me about it. Being an AFAS major it had to come to mind. Now, i didn't jump off the plane and kneel and kiss the grass or anything- but when I felt the breeze from the open doors of the airport I was quieted. The breeze passed over me and settled in my spirit.

Identity is something that all beings struggle with. America has made this tenfold for African Americans. I am not exempt. Am I a tourist? Am I a returning black? Am I an outsider? Am I a Kenyan? Am I only American? Am I black or African-American? Where do I fit in? As we go from one stage in life to another our identities are constantly challenged. Being from a state where diversity is fulfilled by coloring a picture of MLK on his holiday, I was the Black Girl who surprisingly got good grades and didn't act like the other black people who didn't. I identify as African-American. I don't desire in the least to omit the first classification. I embrace it. And want to know what that means for Diamond. Above all, despite the malnutrition our blackness has garnered and the self hatred and confusion and violence and hate it has created in us ONE  IDENTITY stands above all others. We are children of God- the Most High King. And that goes beyond color and class and money and country. That FACT will forever sustain the turmoil of our magnificent, and mutilated history. I am one of children reaching up past labels to define and help others redefine who we are and who we can be. Never Settle.
Revelation is near. God is speaking to me in this moment in my life. And I'm ready to receive. And I'm ready to pour out.

I leave you with this-
Jewish people have a program where they can return and visit Jerusalem for free called Birthright right?
Well I think us black folks should be able to come back to Africa for free too- call it BLACKRIGHT!!
Someone get on that and we'll squash the details when I return. :-)

Love 4eva & Always
*Almasi* aka ~Diamond~

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Dear Family

In a few hours I will be on a plane headed to NY that will head to London which will take to Kenya. I have finally finished packing and am honestly exhausted.

I invite you to join me in this journey- for it is on behalf of you that I make this trip. God is about to do some Amazing things and I am simply geeked about it! But right now I'm also geeked about going to sleep! Hopefully soon I can brighten your day with witty observations. (I'm very new to this blog thing- and wont be offended if you don't read it!)

Love you and Good night! or Lala Salama (in Swahili)